"Gay. Lesbian. Bisexual. Transgender. Queer. Genderqueer. The list goes on and on. Labels that people insist on putting on themselves and other people. It's a crying shame that these insignificant labels cost people their dignity, livelihood, and in far too many cases, lives, every day.
The love of my life is the most amazing human I've ever met. He is thoughtful, brilliant, hilarious, and tender. He also falls into the category of trans. I won't even elaborate exactly where, as I refuse to put him into a box. I love and respect that his gender identity is fluid as well as being one small detail about who he is. Having said that, being in a relationship with a trans-man brings with it automatic responses from society that I had not foreseen. I also am acutely aware of things that I don't know that I would ever have noticed.
There are so many things that come with being a queer woman, in love with a trans-man. Adjusted pronoun usage, being more aware of the way they are treated, and always, and I do mean always, being afraid that when they walk out the door they may not come home in one piece. Sounds dramatic, I know. For us, it's just life.
This fact came into a bright spotlight yesterday. A trans-woman was brutally assaulted in a McDonald's in Maryland. The actual attack is sadly not even the most noteworthy detail, the fact that the entire establishment watched, some laughing at her is. No one save for an older lady even bothered to make a serious effort to help her. I am absolutely devastated at this.
I am heart broken for the lady that suffered the attack (which resulted in a seizure), but I just kept watching, in tears, and thinking "this could so very easily have been my love".
Why do things like this have to happen? I believe it comes down to ignorance, fear of what is unknown, and hate. The sad issue at the core? Regardless of how much love is spread throughout the queer community, it will always be battling the hate until we are first class citizens. And even then I am not confident it will ever really go away.
The point of this particular rant is quite simple: Keep your mind open, and be aware that not everyone fits into neatly labeled categories. Some people have to face this world every day in a body that's just never been quite right. Isn't that enough of a challenge for them? Be a friend, a courteous stranger in a fast food place. Be humane."
Editor's note: What do YOU think of Chandra's post? Leave a comment and let her know! You can also reach out to Chandra and read more from her by visiting her blog "The Other Side of the Looking Glass."
Selected reading for more on the subject:
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Queer Psychology: An Introduction
Transgender Explained For Those Who Are Not
The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals
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