And I'm not gonna lie: I listen in, I take notes, I root for her. At times I take a page out of one of my favorite movies Secret of My Success and move my hands in the air as if I'm conducting an orchestra comprised of moans. Ah, but then comes the awkward part: the next morning (or afternoon or night, depending on when she's goin at it). Standing next to the chick at our mailboxes feels all sorts of wrong. First of all, we both have to pretend she isn't the loudest mother effer on the planet, and second of all, she's not as hot as her moaning is.
But I take solice in the fact that all over the world, even right as we speak, people are going through the same thing. Whether you're the do-er or the do-ee, or the listener or the listen...ee (?) sex can be a difficult subject to navigate, depending on who you're in the water with. That's why the lovely ladies of my fav web series Cherry Bomb are here to help in their season premiere episode!
You know I'll always be available for sex and boob and vagina and all sorts of talk of lathering and dipping and dripping--so never fear--but Dalila, Tatum, Gloria and Nikki do it with oh so much class. And glass...es...of wine. Lots...and lots...of wine...enjoy!
You may have to give it a moment to load...
Get sooo much more at:
Thanks to my good friend Rachael, I was able to attend a special screening of the movie Tuesday night. Usually I'm not big on fantasy films. OR I should say, I can be big on them, but I usually have to be dragged kicking and screaming first, and THEN I tend to get it.
For instance, I would never have seen Harry Potter had it not been for a former girlfriend threatening me with all sorts of terrible punishments like no making out, or, even worse, no more topless Tuesdays until I acquiesced. So like a mad hatter woman, I agreed, and suffered through a 10am (yes, in the MORNING) first day screening of The Prisoner of Azkaban, complete with at least 100 little people (kids, not...little little people) dressed in capes and wielding wands and making me want to take off my belt and whoop a theater full of kids, nannies and parents all at once.
But at the end of the movie, I couldnt be mad, because...much to my surprise, I truly enjoyed it. As much as I hated to admit it: it was magical. As was Alice. All I can say is: wow. Just...wow. I loved it. From soup to nuts.
And as I said before, Johnny Depp is one lovely lesbian. I love me some Johnny. Of course I'm old enough to be a big fan of 21 Jumpstreet, but I really fell in love with him when I saw the movie--and imagine my Spanish accent--Don...quuuuwaaaan De Marco.
Oh my damn:
(Get to 1:50 before you pass judgement on my boy crush)
Without posting any spoilers, has anyone else seen Alice? Who plans to?
Then...there was nothing. No electricity, no internet, no computer, no television, zip. Then all of a sudden I started hearing sirens (firetrucks, police cars, EMT) at a frantic pace. So I did the only logical thing one would do in this situation: I freaked the fuck out. I grabbed my Flip camera (you know, in case some shit went down that I needed to document--I actually considered the possibility of an "I Am Legend" type of situation where I might need to one day show the only remaining dog what it was like in 2010), my house keys and my gumption and stormed out on a mission. A mission to find out what on earth was going on.
Two hours later, and what I found was some chocolate from 7-11, a city worker who said it was just a random power outtage and everything was back on, and some graffiti on a wall down the road from me that changed my day completely: a hand-drawn picture of boobs, with the word "boobies" scrawled below it.
I couldnt help but giggle to myself. It's one of those things that reminds you what you were taught in elementary: it's all about the simple things in life, really. And this beautifully and well-thought out masterpiece on the side of a vegan restaurant in West Hollywood reminded me whats really important in life. Not meetings or money or the rat race. Nope. Boobies.
Of course family, friends, your health, respect, kindness, generousity...these are all wonderful as well.
But boobies. Sometimes--big or small--boobies are enough.
